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Kristi's Story

"Hi to all those teenagers out there.

If you are curious about foster care and waiting to know about it, well, keep reading and you might have a clearer idea about foster care.

There are situations, which you might find hard such as explaining to school friends why you are in foster care because most of them won't understand you.

Some of your mates might ask you some personal questions such as "Why aren't you living with your Mum?", "What did she do?", "Where is she?".

These questions don't have to be answered. Just answer, "don't worry."

Once you have been placed in foster care, you might feel embarrassed to invite some of your friends over to your foster home because you don't know how they are going to react or what they might think and you might feel uncomfortable because it is not your usual environment.

Being in foster care is nothing to be ashamed of. It has its bad points and good!

Once you have been placed in foster care you might feel abandoned and alone, angry with your mum or dad for putting you in foster care. You may even hate yourself. These are common feelings. Nothing people say makes sense to you. You might think that everyone has turned against you.

You disagree with the decisions, you may think everyone is deliberately trying to hurt you, but they aren't, it may seem that way now!

Sometimes you find yourself in a tug of war between your mum and your foster family, sometimes you feel guilty for liking your foster parents and because you feel guilt, you turn against them, by abusing them. Try to remember that you can love both your foster carers and still love your mum and dad.

If you have been placed with a family that has either their own or other children already in their care, you may feel even more alone. You may feel also left out, but try to get to know them and be nice and you will get the same reaction back!

Access is also a bit rough on everyone. Say if you went to see your mum once a week, you might feel just as you were getting used to the foster family, you had to go and see your mum which then made you feel you wish you were back with your mum, then you turn against the foster family, it's just one big cycle, which you have to break yourself, because no-one can change the way you feel, which sometimes can be a pain.

I hope I have helped you. All I'm trying to say is that try to live with everyone and to talk with people who care and understand because that's what foster care is about, wanting to help people who need help and being there when you need that help.

And keep in mind that just because your parents put you in foster care, it doesn't mean that they love you less. The only reason they put you in foster care is because they love you and don't want you hurt because of their problems!

It's probably harder being placed in foster care because you're not a child and you know exactly what's happening, but then again it's hard being a teenager in any family household. But don't use being fostered as an excuse to do nothing with your life and feel sorry for yourself and abuse everyone because there's heaps of kids out there who'd love to have a foster family to love and share their life with them. So sure, you will miss your parents and that's not a crime but don't let it stop you from living because you're only a teenager once."